Book Three: Intro: My Doubts and Urging Desires

Right now I feel all the confusion in the air. A man I once loved appears before me. He asked me, "Do you love me as you love God himself?" My answer was toxic as any venomous bite. I devoted myself to a man who didn't love me. See "Love's my religion...he was my faith...". I was too afraid to admit to it. He mistreated me and abused me in ways that can't be told. I loved that man out of sheer loneliness. Everyone warned me of devoting myself to a man. I am now regretting my sins of *greed that entangled my sorrows. As I feel this lack of dignity, a ray of light appears before me. A man who walks up to me with his hand out that could wash all my sins clean. I walked towards him. I felt his touch painted me in golden light that would cleanse me as God purified the immoral. My attitude changed and I started to revert to my joyous self. As that man who I saw as my ray of sunshine had his own flaws as well. He kept up that appearance of a divine angel to keep me happy. It made me wonder who was the more problematic? My undying devotion, desires and doubts or his problematic childhood?

Little did I know that our fates would be intertwined by a childhood promise.

"Love's my religion...he was my faith..." are lyrics of Heaven by Julia Micheals.